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Marriage & Relationships

Avoidant attachments advice

My ex and i recently just got back together after me breaking up with him as it wasn’t working. I made contact again and we attempted to rebuild the relationship. Issues started to arise when he found out I spoke to others when we broke up and he has stated that he feels he can’t trust me. We saw each other the other week and went really well. He then started getting really distant messages took longer to be sent my calls would get ignored and so on. He then randomly called me this Sunday and said when am I next coming to see him. I said “I thought u didn’t want to see me”. He replied with” I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t want to see you”. I then messaged him the next day and asked if he still wants to see me, he said “I do but I’m not sure if I need time” I then gave him space and he sent me a message yesterday saying “I think I need time until I see you again . I’m happy to leave things in the past once I know there’s change . Sorry it has come to this I need time to myself” he then unfollowed me on everything and removed his location. I replied maturely and agreed with what he was saying but asked for clarity of his intentions for the future if this is a for now thing to work on ourselves or is done for good. Bearing in mind we have been together for about a year and a 4 months and he does have avoidant attachment tendencies. Is this us done for good I haven’t heard anything from him for over a day and he didn’t reply to my response . Will he come back? Is this just for now? If anyone relates or has avoidant attachment issues themselves I would really appreciate an outlook of how he may be feeling and what is the most likely outcome of us .

Posted 11 June

Community Responses (1)

I think you should let him go. The signs are already there, and they are hard to ignore. Getting back with an ex rarely works when the same underlying issues remain. You’ve already said the relationship wasn’t working, and he’s already told you he doesn’t trust you. Those two things alone say a lot. My advice is for you to focus on yourself, invest in your own growth, find happiness and fulfilment outside of a relationship, and give yourself the space to heal. When you are genuinely happy and whole on your own, you are far more likely to attract someone who is truly right for you.

12 June

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