Relationships;how to get the best
I have been in and out of relationships. In my mid 40s. Don’t want to try anymore. Almost got married 2 times but didn’t happen. After my last relationship,I decided to step back and do some serious soul searching. Different people have come up with so many theories. Don’t even get me started on d spiritual aspect and how,I almost ended up being taken advantage of, in my search for answers. So I just sort of gave up. But I want to have a committed,loving,strong long lasting relationship that could lead to marriage. I have always said,I would marry once,that would last a lifetime. I even saw a therapist a few times just to check my mental health 🤣🤣. Right now I don’t know what to think. At the same time,my finances are down,I seem to just be coasting along and I wonder! I need help but am tired of even talking about it.
Posted 22 April
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Community Responses (4)
Hey Friend, You are in your Mid 40s, two near-marriages, soul searching, a therapist, and you still have not let go of that vision of a marriage that lasts a lifetime, that is actually remarkable. A lot of people at this point would have either settled or gone cold. You have done neither. However, the exhaustion you are feeling is not a sign that love is not for you. It is a sign that you have been hoping on empty. And you cannot keep pouring from a cup that has not been refilled in a long time. Here is what I would actually do if I were you. Forget relationships for now. Not forever, just for now. Pick one small financial goal, something you can actually hit in the next three months, and go after it with everything you have. Not because money buys love, but because forward movement changes how you carry yourself, and that changes everything about how you show up. On a spiritual note, what was done to you was very wrong. People used your vulnerability and dressed it up in the language of God. That was not God. Do not let those people cost you your faith on top of everything else they already took. You have not given up. You are tired. Those are not the same thing. And the fact that you wrote this at all tells me there is still something in you that believes. Please hold on to that. I believe in you.
23 April
Omo, the exhaustion in this post is so palpable… you have genuinely tried. That's not giving up, that's someone who kept showing up even when it kept hurting.
23 April
It is well, trust in God I’m sure he has it all planned out for you..but before you eventually meet mr right or go into another relationship, I would advise you learn to love your self first..and also take note of your past mistakes in the previous relationships so it won’t reoccur again..if you don’t love your self, you won’t be able to love another person for long..also trust God to take the lead..everyone is destined to get married at a particular age, so don’t let anyone pressure you into anything…and if eventually you decide to go for one of your fiancée, just let your heart pick the person that gives you peace, someone who would pick you over and over again no matter what..someone who would defend you in your absence and in your presence..a man who is family oriented..it’s one thing to marry a good man and it’s another to marry a man provider and a man who would be a role model for this children..it’s never too late my dear..
23 April
Been there. Not exactly your story but close enough. I almost made it down the aisle,but life happened yunno. the fact that you still want it, still believe in marrying once and forever, after everything, that’s not small. Most people would have gone cold by now. The money worries and the coasting will pass. One step at a time. You don’t have to figure it all out this week. sending you hugsssssss
25 April
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